Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
