I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
