Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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