too bad you live with your parents still
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
