I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
