I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
