So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
