I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
