the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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