Nicole vs. Life
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
