is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
