So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
