I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
