so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
