I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
