Is it normal to miss your booty call?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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