i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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