Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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