She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
