As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
