he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
