when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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