he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
