ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
