We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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