Me too!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
