sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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