His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
