Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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