he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
what the fuck happened to the tacos
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
