thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
