guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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