If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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