i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
