I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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