I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
