remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
