Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
