k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We are all done wearing pants today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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