return my video game
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
