Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
And then he peed in my hair
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