You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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