My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
barbara walters just said penis...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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