I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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