I wish i was in the wii world.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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