Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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