So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
is that a dick in a sweater?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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