So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
