Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
