So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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