I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
