Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
